Biblical parenting...

I know there are a lot of 'How-to' books about parenting for Christians, but here is a brief summary on what I feel the bible teaches on the matter. Again, this is a re-post from a message board.


First, Proverbs is a poetical book. A good hermeneutical principle is not to build doctrine on poetic passages. This book is full of symbolism, and not always meant to be read and taken literally. (Interesting though, how most Christians who advocate hitting children as being a biblical truth pick and choose what they want to take as literal from the Old Testament. Only when it suits their lifestyle will they take it as a literal command...if it's too inconvenient or 'out there' they blow it off by saying ''oh but we are under grace now!'' Funny how that never applies to children though?)

The word Rod in the bible appears many times, MOST often meaning a kings scepter or a shepherd's staff. Which would mean that if taken literally, we would need to find a 6 foot long 3 inch round stick to hit our children. Of course, that is not the intent! Rod is a symbol- one of guidance, one of authority, like a shepherd or a king. 
Solomon (the author of Proverbs) was a wise man, for sure. However, his children didn't exactly turn out great either...so I'm going to look at his wisdom in light of what GOD and JESUS say in the scripture. 

Second the word used for our english word 'child' is naar. Naar MOST often refers to young adult, or someone entering adulthood. They have more responsibility to God, they were also accountable to the government of the day. Naar does NOT refer to a toddler or baby. 

Thirdly, as Christians, we are saved by grace. Not because we are well-behaved, not because we deserved it, not because of anything but grace. And as Christians, we are called to be Christ-like, and to model our lives after Jesus. Jesus never hit anyone, in fact, He made sure to call the little children to Him and tell everyone "Whatsoever you do the the least of these, you do also unto Me" 

And lastly, even if someone DOES feel that the verse in Proverbs is advocating for hitting on the bottom with a wooden spoon (again, NO WHERE IN THE BIBLE) there are no directives on when, how often, for what offense, or anything like that. MAN has made all those rules up. The whole praying together, hug after being hit is sickening to me. It only teaches that if you are bigger and stronger, you can hurt someone else if they don't do things your way. And that those who supposedly love you the most are going to hurt you if you don't do what they want. That is NOT who God is. He cares SO MUCH MORE about relationship. Hitting destroys relationship, no matter what someone says (I was spanked and I'm fine). 
There are hundreds of verses on gentleness, love, kindness, forgiveness, grace, and mercy, and one or two that people use to justify hitting. What about applying the WHOLE bible to parenting? If you apply more than just ONE scripture to parenting, and look ANYwhere else in the bible, you would never have a reason to hit. 


I say this as a person who at one point (before children thank God) felt that I would hit, because it was what I had been taught makes a good, godly, Christian parent. I know I'm passionate about this topic, and I hope I'm not coming across as judgmental. I know how easy it is to get sucked in to that teaching, and how hard it is to break free from it. I was so deceived, and I am so thankful that God opened my eyes, and showed me who He really wants me to be to my children. It's my mission in life now, to undo all the punitive parenting that is taught in Christian circles.  I hope to someday be able to teach people the truth and a better way than what has been taught the past few hundred years. I hope to be able to bring people back to true biblical parenting.